First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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