I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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