I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
