In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
