shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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