oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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