I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
