Got a toothbrush?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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