He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
