My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
