It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
