I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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