Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
