You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
