Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize