well I can't set my house on fire every night
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
