all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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