I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
