There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Two words: blizzard sex
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
