you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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