it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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