I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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