Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
How external is "for external use only"?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
