Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
