Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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