Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize