So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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