: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
