So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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