I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You were trust falling into bushes
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
