Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.

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(469): View more from Texas

I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...

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(847): View more from Illinois

She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.

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(302): View more from Delaware

stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.

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(386): View more from Florida

I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.

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(432): View more from Texas

I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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(310): View more from California

My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?

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