Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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