The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize