k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
When are your genitals available?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
