I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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