There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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