Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed

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(623): View more from Arizona

I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Reggie can tackle my bush.

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(954): View more from Florida

it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.

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(851): View more from

Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.

(522): View more from

Don't break up.

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(214): View more from Texas

I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.

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