if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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