My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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