I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
