Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
