hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
