I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
