He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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