Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The Olympian is in my bed
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
