3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
