i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
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Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have tasted many bathrooms
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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