"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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