Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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