No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
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If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
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Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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