I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.