kristin has been a bad kristin
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
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What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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