I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag