I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
