I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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