Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
