good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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