Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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