walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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